Human First, Leader Second by Massimo Backus is a guide that can help readers see how self-compassion outperforms self-criticism.

What I Liked About Human First, Leader Second by Massimo Backus

First, I want to applaud Backus for sharing his personal story. It wasn’t a pretty picture and his willingness to show how self-criticism had stymied him all of his life is a wake-up call for others. Coaches like Backus can be transparent and really connect with people or they can act as if they have it all together and turn people off. Backus is connector, which makes his message more powerful.

Also, I enjoyed the client stories where the people willing to share their journey found a better way of being. Backus says in the book that “self-compassion is the greatest untapped resource for transformative leadership.” His clients learned this as they worked with him using the methods outlined in the book.

Finally, I really appreciated how he chose to label those things we do to hide and self-protect. Backus coined them Well-intentioned, Misinformed Protectors – WIMPs. Our WIMPs “urge leaders to maintain a façade of perfection, seek relentless validation, and hide any sign of weakness or uncertainty,” which causes us to “stretch ourselves in unsustainable ways.” I could relate to several of the WIMPs.

What You’ll Like About Human First, Leader Second

If you’re like me, you’ll appreciate that Backus makes it clear this isn’t easy. You will have to work at having self-compassion because we’re not encouraged to have it. Society often tells us to suck-it-up or push harder and bury our feelings, which only leads to burnout and less productivity.

This book has many exercises that you will be encouraged to do, and the good news is they are all for your eyes only. Yes, you do not have to share your answers. But you do need to act on what you discover.

Backus is clear it takes work. Using self-compassion is not a once and you’re done kind of thing. You have to learn it over and over again. Our conditioning is hard to break away from and the key is to keep plugging away and reframing when those WIMPs take center stage.

Final Thoughts

Human First, Leader Second is easy to read and understand. If you’re willing to take the time to give serious consideration to the exercises and quizzes, you’ll have a much better chance of becoming the kind of leader who is personally accountable, self-aware, and a person who accepts yourself as human first.

There is some language in the book, so beware if you find that offensive. It is not widespread.

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