From Conflict to Courage by Marlene Chism is an excellent resource if you think you need help at resolving conflict. Truth is, most of us do need help. This book isn’t just a regurgitation of conflict management that you’ve either read about or received training in.

What I Liked About From Conflict to Courage

First, I thought the author’s presentation is clear and pertinent. Chism has been in the ranks and worked on an assembly line, which gives her a unique perspective. She is not some suit talking to you about a topic they’ve only studied. This isn’t a consultant’s book. It’s written from the perspective of someone who has real-life experience, and I found it refreshing.

Second, Chism made it clear that conflict isn’t comfortable even if you’re an “expert” conflict resolver. Her definition is one of the best I’ve seen: Conflict is “misalignment due to opposing drives, desires, and demands.” This means personality has nothing to do with it and using this definition “eliminates your assumptions about motive.” Chism says this “makes conflict much more interesting.”

Finally, I particularly liked Chapters Four and Seven. In Chapter Four, Chism deals with emotional integrity. “Anger is not the truth. Think of blame as a shortcut for avoiding responsibility.” Blame is such an easy way to try to bypass conflict, but it doesn’t work. In Chapter Seven, Chism provides a blueprint for difficult conversations. This chapter takes all you’ve learned and shows you how to apply it. The one thing I found the most insightful was the “Are You Willing?” skill. Chism calls it the magic phrase. When someone resists your efforts, the first impulse is to argue or try to persuade, but Chism says we should ask the individual the question, “Are you willing to….?” If you get an objection, then look for a way to rephrase the question still using “are you willing” at the beginning of the question.

What You Will Like About From Conflict to Courage

If you think there must be a better way to deal with conflict, I’d tell you this is an excellent guide to use. The chapters are clear and succinct. The information makes sense, and the stories and examples help clarify the key points. There are exercises to do to help you better understand where you stand in handling conflict. From Conflict to Courage has real meat in it.

Final Thoughts

Each chapter explores various aspects that affect a leader’s ability to resolve conflict. For example, a leader should:

• Resolve inner conflict first.
• Recognize dysfunctional behaviors – avoiding, appeasing, and aggression.
• Resolve dysfunctional identities – best-friend leader, hero-leader, and hands-off leader.
• Have leadership clarity – how to see the situation.

I’m a quote person and found this quote of particular importance – “There are always ways to make the environment better, no matter the type of organization. It just takes some courage and some leadership.”

I very much enjoyed From Conflict to Courage, and it made me think about conflict resolution and management in a new way.

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